finger lick

I misssssss you.
these feelings of nostalgia of what we used to be.
why cant i pick up the pieces and fit them they way it used to be again?

promos are over, lifeapos;s good. But then again comes the nerve wrecking question of retaining that bugs the hell outta me.
long talk, night walk with squid was depressing, my heart sank even deeper when i finally realised how scary the harsh, cruel reality would hurt if it strikes me in my face. I know its inevitable that everyone talks about the results and the aftermath but i choose escapism now. Yeah, call me weak but if i would be happier off in oblivion then please, iapos;d rather choose to be ignorant. Im truly thankful for friends who are always there to reassure me that i definitely would not retain, ressuring that dwindling confidence that i have, telling me that everythings gonna be okay. But honestly, deep down in my heart, i know everythings not gonna be fine if i really retained. What is this mindgame that the school is playing, my hearts twisted and im just dumbfounded for words. Its this secret pressure that chokes me at neckhold, steals my breath, bringing my mind to a temporary blank. I completely zone out. Maybe, somehow its the expectations of me that adds on to the trauma. It brings me higher and higher to the point and im pretty sure if i fall i might not be able to pick myself up again. Dont be silly, she coos, but honestly, if you fell off the peak of mt. Everest tell me that you wouldnt die then i might be convinced and believe in myself . Its funny how i never had to worry about promoting for the past 17 years of my life and here i am, praying and hoping endlessly for good results.people are comparing how well they have done, but im just worrying my butt off about promoting. Pisses me off like shit, jabbing me in the ribs, wallowing in self pity that in the blink of an eye, promos over and weapos;re all being subjected to the longest wait ever. Hate it, its emotionally draining. I wished i had the confidence and courage to deal with this better but right now, i really need a sign God
my angel where are you? ):

sidetrack, why do i get spine tingling feelings everytime i talk about it. Plus why do i giggle so much????????�:]

p.s/ dont read and keep pestering me what is what that ive written. If i had meant for you to know, i would have already told you. Xx
finger lick, finger licken good, finger lickin, finger lickin good.